Conquering The Emotion Of Jealousy


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Conquering The Emotion Of Jealousy – Part 1

Man was handed the master key of the knowledge of good and evil karma by God. He used the key to perform good karma for some time. That was the day of humanity. Over a period of time, while playing the game of different roles in the world theatre, the key was lost and man started to perform evil karma. The evil man started identifying with evil so much that he forgot his original good self and thought that evil is the eternal self. That was and is the night of humanity. That is why in the scriptures, mistakenly it is said that even angels used to sometimes feel jealous. In Indian scriptures, devis and devtas, the original good men and women, have mistakenly been shown to possess the emotion of jealousy at times. Poor perception of the evil men, who made the scriptures and temples in the remembrance of the good men and women, the angels, after they had ceased to exist! The good men and women were nothing but our early births as we started our journey of birth and rebirth as flawless beings.

Today humans are empowered beings who have the capacity to experience so many emotions, both positive and negative. Sadness, anger, happiness, sympathy and the list is endless. Out of all these one very powerful and dominating emotion is jealousy.When we see different players in this game of life playing different roles, sometimes while seeing them with the spectacles of role consciousness, feelings of jealousy or a desire to be like the other are experienced. Comparisons emerge in our minds.

While being competitive and having aspirations to succeed are absolutely fine and there is no doubt that to do that sometimes we have to look at the other or even others and this drive helps us meet life’s challenges also, but when this look at the other is accompanied by comparisons and feelings of low self esteem as a result and takes the form of jealousy; it gets out of control and starts having an adverse effect on our relationships, that steps should be taken to curb those feelings.

– Message –

To forgive the self is to have the ability to forgive others too.

Expression: I sometimes find it very difficult to forgive the mistakes committed by others. I do try to understand but am not able to understand the other person’s behaviour and so find it difficult to forgive them.

Experience: When I have love for myself and am able to learn from all that happens, I am able to forgive myself. When I know to do this, I can understand the other person too from his perspective and can easily forgive him.

Conquering The Emotion Of Jealousy – Part 2

In the 21st century, there are so many mediums which inculcate the feeling of jealousy in a person. Social Media is one such platform. While Facebook and Twitter rule the roost, commonly people wonder * How does he get so many likes? * How is she so photogenic? * Again a ‘check in’! * His life is so eventful. You never know how and when these thoughts start affecting your life, mental peace and behavior greatly.

Jealousy is a complex emotion, which often stems from insecurity or a fear of losing control. Everybody expresses and handles jealousy in a different way, but certain universal techniques can be used to help conquer it. Being aware of jealous feelings is the first step towards keeping it under control. Also conquering jealousy requires an honest conversation about how you feel. It’s far healthier to talk about your negative feelings than to reveal them through your actions. The more you communicate with them, and seek reassurance the more your feelings of jealousy will subside.

Hold a strong and determined belief inside yourself that jealousy is an emotion you will never face. Your idol or perfect self just doesn’t deserve the existence of the emotion. For instance, if you have an acquaintance of yours who is extremely pretty and sometimes, you envy her. That is the time when you need to firmly tell yourself that this is just not your perfect self. You can’t feel that way. Take a few minutes tostand back mentally from the person. The next step is to observe your thoughts as if you were an onlooker or a detached observer. Being as silent as possible, ask yourself as if the thoughts you are having are the ones you wish to keep, if they are going where you would choose them to go. In the resulting silence, steer (change direction) your thinking to where you want it to be; perhaps to personal affirmations (positive thoughts) you use to establish yourself on your seat of self-respect. The affirmations can be: * I am aware of myself as a special person with my own unique specialties or * I am aware of myself as internally rich, full of many invisible treasures, * I am aware of myself as a content being and overflowing with happiness, etc. This technique changes our attitudes and feelings and influences us positively.

– Message –

To have learnt means to bring about a practical change.

Expression: From all that happens, I usually understand a lot of things and take important lessons. But sometimes I find myself making the same mistakes again and again. So I am not able to bring about real change.

Experience: Once I realise and learn from a mistake that has happened, I need to spend some time in understanding it even further. I need to ensure I don’t ever repeat the same mistake. This will enable me to bring about real change.

Conquering The Emotion Of Jealousy – Part 3

Internal contentment or satisfaction is the antidote (neutralizer or healing agent) for jealousy. People with strong self-esteem and self-respect are the ones who remain satisfied or content and away from the emotion of jealousy while coming in contact with different people with their own unique specialties, virtues and attainments.

Self-respect or self-esteem depends on knowing who I am, knowing my eternal (ageless), internal self. When I have found that sense of internal identity, I feel I have a right to be here, to exist. Without this dimension, it is very difficult to really respect myself deeply. If I base my self-respect on identifying with the superficial (artificial) aspects of my being: my looks, personality, wealth, success, my friends, intelligence or my role, I will never have a stable sense of self-respect, because all these aspects are changeable. Thus I will end up fluctuating all the time.To stay stable in my self-respect, I need to have a deeper understanding of my internal self and tap into those riches that are within me forever, waiting to blossom, like the flower from the seed. As I become internally aware, those riches and resources start flowing out of me. The more stable I am in my self-respect, the more I radiate what I truly am. I feel a deep sense of contentment and I am happy to be me, however I am. I accept myself as I am.

Let us be honest a person who is jealous just cannot sit stably on the seat of self-respect – they keep moving i.e. fluctuating. Today they meet a person with lesser specialties or attainments than them and they are on top of the world – they rise above the seat of self-respect and enter the dimension of ego. Tomorrow they meet a person with more specialties or attainments than them and that is a bad day for them – they go underneath the seat of self-respect and enter the dimension of low self-esteem. What a shallow way of living! The ideal way of living – in both cases, remain in self-respect and give respect to the other. Remember that the jealous, the angry, the bitter and the egotistical are the first to race to the top of mountains. A confident and internally content person enjoys the journey, the people they meet along the way and sees life not as a competition. They reach the summit last because they know God isn’t at the top waiting for them. He is down below helping his followers to understand that the view is glorious where ever you stand.

– Message –

The ability to find solutions comes when I know the art of listening.

Expression: I normally get to hear a lot of things and tend to get coloured by all that I hear. The more I hear about negative things, the more difficult it becomes to maintain my own positivity. Yet I can do nothing to ignore the things that make me feel negative.

Experience: I need to know to listen to people rather than just hearing them. To know to listen means the ability to transform negative into positive. Just as a doctor listens to all the negative aspects about the disease etc and still knows only to give the medicine, I too need to listen in order to give what is required.

In Spiritual Service,
Brahma Kumaris

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